My student ward held a special two hour sacrament meeting today and invited the families of all the students to come and visit, then have lunch afterward. At first I was somewhat excited to have Mom come up and visit. Everyone I asked said their families were not coming so I felt out of place. Gradually though I realized this would be really fun and I was WAY excited for her to come up. Then tragedy struck. Mom got sick. Really sick. I feel totally bad for her sick. Suddenly when Mom is unable to come, all of my friends said their families were coming. Great! How does that work? So today instead of sitting with Mom during sacrament meeting, I sat between my two friends and their moms'. I felt alone and sad. I know it is not Mom's choice to not be here. She would be here for sure if she wasn't so sick. And that is totally fine. I honestly don't want to get sick. But it would have been nice to sit there with Mom like always back at home. Yet something about being in Logan makes it different and more meaningful.
I guess what I am trying to get at is that I really do love my family. I say it all the time, but it is so true! I was so excited to have Mom meet my bishopric (who are awesome, by the way), see my apartment (and how clean I keep it), and maybe even get to know my roommates better since I know them now. I am homesick. I do not show it because I was so excited to be off on my own. Actually I do not think this is normal homesickness. I am more familysick it feels like. I need my brothers and sisters- my best friends. I need my adorable nieces and nephews to make me laugh, joy, and play like a little kid should. I need Mom to hold my hand, keep me paying attention to the speakers, and make sure I get enough to eat (and that it is real food). No, I am not a little kid still, but there is that part of me (which is in everyone I am sure) that just needs to snuggle when life is hard and the monsters in the closet never seem to go away.
Life is pretty good though.
I LOVE YOU! <3
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5 comments:
We love you X! I think you need to take a trip to Boston.
Hi! Sorry we missed the invitation. We'd liked to have been there and seen your apartment. Maybe next year. Say hello to your roommates and send us photos. xoxo
I want to take a trip to Boston. Idea: you guys stick around for a while after school, let me fly out to NY and to Boston and we play. Then we all go back to Utah together! That would be awesome.
just wait tell we have dinner together... right were still on for the 28th? also if you ever need to get away just come to my house.
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