Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Spinning out of Control

I am going insane even though I know my life is now where as bad as it seems. So many priorities are pulling me in conflicting directions, tearing my mind and heart apart. Just when I feel that things are under control and taken care of, I realize how much I have screwed up. I try to take a step back, analyze my life and figure out what is first on my list, only to have ten more obligations jump out and punch me in the nose. The only problem though is that I, for some odd reason, do not have it in me to let the tears come from my eyes as a result of those punches. When life should be going so smoothly and making the most sense right before I get my Patriarchal Blessing, I have fallen in the most ditches and twisted my ankles on the biggest rocks. School, church, boys, friends, work, music, and time for me are constantly competing with no item coming out on top. They all just lie in a jumbled pile that I try to leave at the door of my room. Where are the tears which I wish would make me feel better, and where can I turn to get a hug from someone who cares? Is anyone out there?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you need a trip to Boston!

Call me any time...